Baldur’s Gate 3is a fantastically well-rounded RPG, with action, drama, horror, and even romance. And that wouldn’t be possible without the amazing cast of well-written characters. While we love each and every one of them, that doesn’t mean they’re the most… presentable sort.
If you had to bring one of your BG3 companions home to meet your folks, who would you pick? Some would be charming, sure, but would they be trustworthy? Even your well-intentioned teammates have some potentially problematic flaws. So who WOULD be the best one to bring home to meet your parents?
Except my friend and coworker, Sam, who managed tounintentionally evade literally everyone’s affections. He won’t be bringing anyone of them home to meet his parents.
10Minthara
While no one on this list is perfect, Minthara is the only one who might legitimately kill my father at some point in the evening. Her upbringing means she won’t mesh well with overworld mannerisms, and her domination-oriented mindset will clash with parental figures of authority.
Minthara is loyal, sure, but try explaining to Mom WHY she’s loyal to you. Theatrocities you have to committo keep this drow paladin around would make any mother gasp. So, all things considered, keep her at camp.
9Minsc
You’d think that the renowned hero of Baldur’s Gate would be an amazing pull when showing off to your parents how successful you are. But as famous as Minsc is, he’s twice as unmanageable. His blunt, direct, and often unpredictable way of thinking could easily result in remarkable property damage from a small misunderstanding.
Boo might keep him in check, but Boo is an even more mysterious and unstoppable force. Maybe it will go great, maybe it will be a disaster. There’s no way of knowing, so he ranks lower on the list.
8Jaheira
Jaheira is a seasoned adventurer and the more mature of the classic BG crew. The problem is her ‘take no sass’ attitude and lack of concern for non life-or-death scenarios.
She’ll leave her family home alone to go fight necromancers, and has an established history of back-talking the avatar of murder. Maybe she’ll be a polite houseguest, or maybe she might make a snarky remark that upsets them, and she won’t see what the problem is. Either way, I’m not risking it.
7Lae’zel
Initially, I thought Lae’zel would be one of the worst picks, but there is one thing she has over the others: recognition for the chain of command. By telling her that the parents outrank you because of ancestral authority, it draws a clear and concise line of appropriate behavior.
If Lae’zel can recognize this, then she should act politely, respectfully, and amicably, as shown when she is presented with higher-ranking Gith. That’s a big “if”, though. Even then, the culture clash means there’s a fair chance of her not understanding their customs and butting heads.
6Shadowheart
Shadowheart knows how to speak politely and not cause a scene. Even if she’s not enjoying herself, she’d grin and bear it long enough to make a good impression. But Shadowheart also has some… personal problems to work out before she would be ready for a meeting like this.
Coming home to introduce her to the warm, welcoming, and loving environment might be a bit uncomfortable for her. Growing up in a life of pain, suffering, and darkness might make it hard for her to get through the night without breaking down into tears.
5Astarion
This is when the list takes a turn from “bad picks” to “I don’t trust them.” Astarion would be cordial, charming, and would present himself with the elegant charm of a magistrate. There is zero doubt in my mind that if he wanted to, he could win over my parents with ease.
But I don’t trust him. Not that I think he’ll go and bite my parents or anything, but will he sneak off during a bathroom break to steal their jewelry? He says he didn’t, but that broach looks familiar.
4Halsin
Halsin would be a wonderful houseguest at my parents’ house. He would be polite, respectful, and would offer to help with the cooking and cleaning up unprompted.
The only concern is that I don’t think I (or my father) would appreciate just HOW much my mother would enjoy Halsin’s company. That’s hardly his fault, but it still leaves me more skeptical about bringing him home.
3Gale
Gale is an older person’s favorite youngster. He’s studied, well-mannered, and knows how to appreciate both quality and quaint. His extensive knowledge would allow him to keep conversation with them for countless hours.
He can be a bit ambitious, though. This might manifest as an extended explanation of topics that either my parents don’t understand or don’t agree with (like ascending to godhood). All in all, though, I trust him to have the tact needed for a good meeting.
2Karlach
We’re onto the “hard yes” remainder of the list. While intimidating at first glance, Karlach is an absolute delight. This ray of fiery sunshine would be bouncing with joy at the chance of meeting my parents, and she would be so grateful to them for it.
Her checkered past might cause some side eye if mentioned, and her infernal engine makes her too hot to hug. But those are the only reasons she isn’t a perfect pick.
1Wyll
Was there ever any doubt? Wyll would make for the perfect houseguest. Raised in nobility and a pure of heart boy scout, he has both all of the know-how to make an amazing first impression, and the natural charm and desire to do so.
He would bring a hosting gift, clean up after dinner without being asked (or even asking), and would provide an evening of lovely conversation by shifting the focus on my parents, complementing their skills and stories along the way. Afterward, he would send them a thank-you card.
