Mario Kart Worldhas the strangest racer rosters the series has ever seen, introducing obscure enemies and seldom-seen NPCs from Mario history. And you know what? Yeah, we ARE excited to play as a Conkdor.
Everyone has a favorite racer. And while some might purely be stylistic choices, others can provide some insight into just what kind of racer you are. Join us as we dive deep into your psyche and tell you something about yourself you weren’t ready to hear.
While we may tease or poke fun at some characters, it’s all meant in jest. We don’t really feel this way about you, regardless of who you like to race with. As long as you’re a good sport during a Knockout Tour, you’re okay in our books.
Mario Or Peach
Your Son Loves This Game
Our first inclination is to imply that picking Marioor Peachmakes you boring. But that would be overlooking an often important demographic: parents. You don’t know much about Mario Kart, save for the time you played it for the SNES back in the day. But your kid loves this game, and you managed to get the Switch 2 game bundle on launch day.
You don’t really care who you pick, you just want to get some family bonding time in while your kids are still young enough to not be angsty and avoidant. So you pick the first one you recognize (depending on how masc or femme you’re wanting to present yourself).
Luigi
You’re The Middle Child
Life is hard living in the shadow of someone with more renown; that’s something plenty of folks relate to, and it’s something Luigi has in plenty. Mario’s taller, greener brother, he’ll never really compare.
Well… not really; but you, the middle child of the family, feel that all too well, and you’ve bonded with Luigi over this fictional ideation of his struggle.
You don’t need to be a middle child for this to happen; you’re able to just be bitter that someone else is more popular than you.
Daisy
You’re Not Like Other Girls
Daisy is the tomboy icon that any young girl who doesn’t feel girly can look up to. She doesn’t conform to societal norms like Peach does, and that resonates with you.
You wear sweatpants and eat Taco Bell. You have a large pile of laundry (either dirty OR clean) sitting on a chair in the corner. You’re just one of the guys, really.
Bowser
You Need To Be The Best
You know all of the pro level strats: pick the heaviest character and a cart with the highest top speed. You drift at every single corner and have memorized every shortcut on every track, knowing the exact moment to use a mushroom.
Why? Because that’s how you win! And you aren’t having fun if you aren’t winning. That’s why you only play on 200cc and insist on Blue Shells being disabled.
That, or you have a very ‘special’ affinity for this big, burly turtle man and the unyielding sense of authority and control he gives off. But we don’t need to talk about that.
Toad
You Think Loud And Noisy = Funny
Originally the low-level peons of the Mushroom Kingdom, Toads went from being an individual to an entire society. Unremarkable, unskilled, and usually unnamed, Toads do have one noticeable trait: their gravelly voice.
And you think that’s hilarious. You love hearing their high-pitched vocal fry, especially when in community-made videos of Toad saying swear words or singing Top 40 pop hits. It’s funny BECAUSE it’s abrasive. It’s just too bad the rest of your friends don’t think so.
Waluigi
You Vote On Tumblr Sexymen
Waluigi is a cultural icon as far as the internet is concerned. This gangly purple villain managed to win over the hearts of millions with his snappy dressing, nefarious confidence, and oddly charismatic presentation.
What does this say about you? That you spend plenty of time on internet communities like Tumblr or Reddit and that you, too, have fallen victim to that damn smile.
Rosalina
You’re 28 To 32 Years Old
There’s a lot to like about Rosalina. The first ‘princess’ to be introduced since 1989, she has a fantastic design, story, and style. But that’s not why you like her.
She’s your favorite because you were 12 to 14 years old when Super Mario Galaxy came out in 2007. It was your favorite game on the Nintendo Wii, and you would play it for days on end, developing a nostalgia that grips at your heart to this day.
Technically that’s incorrect. Princess Shokora was introduced in 2001 with Wario Land 4, but she hasn’t been seen since. So by our standards, she doesn’t count.
Pianta
You’re A Chuckster
You’re a Chuckster, a Lanceur, a real People-tosser! You may be small, but you NEVER give up, and you most certainly don’t hold back! Higher and higher, when someone throws you a coin, you throw them for a loop! And rumor has it that your wife can toss people farther than you can!
What does that mean? It means that either you’re an aggressive driver who performs best in the middle of the absolute item brawl of the middle places, or that you also played a lot of Super Mario Sunshine, and you get this reference.
Pauline
You’re A Simp
Let’s be honest, even if you knew about her origin, you never thought about Pauline until Super Mario Odyssey. Since then, you’ve completely fallen in love with the idea of Mario featuring a woman who is both an attractive lounge singer and a strong and capable mayor.
There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. We need more women in leadership positions, and she embodies a fantastic take on the modern approach to a ‘princess’. Just know that your reasons are obvious.
Cow
You Are Not Immune To Propaganda
Internet hype is a powerful thing. Put something quirky in the right place at the right time, and an entire fandom will be born. And with Mario Kart World,that is Cow. As soon as fans saw them in the first trailer, online communities have been buzzing over the chance to play as this odd roster pick.
Literally just a cow from the Moo Moo Meadows track, racing with this character shows that you’ve been caught up in the online excitement for such an out-of-left-field character. You like recurring jokes and definitely have a favorite meme.
If you do actually have a favorite meme, let us know in the comment section. Ours is probably Steamed Hams.
