When you’re battling your way through the fantastical worlds ofFinal Fantasy, most folks are focused on strategy, spell-slinging, and saving the world (again). But let’s be honest, hasn’t a thought ever crossed your mind? Specifically, a thought like, “Hmm, that Behemoth looks surprisingly lean… probably free-range.” Or maybe, “I bet a Tonberry stew would really hit the spot on a cold day.”

Well, I hope I’m not alone! Forget the swords and sorcery for a moment, and let’s talk about what truly matters: which of these iconic monsters would make for a surprisingly delectable dinner? It’s not just me, right? Right…?

8Chocobo

Kentucky Fried Chocobo, Anyone?

Let’s getthe controversial oneout of the way first. While beloved for transportation, a well-fed Chocobo (perhaps one that’s retired from racing) would offer a lean, gamey meat.

Don’t get us started on what we think the different varieties of Chocobo might taste like. Red Chocobos might be spicy! Imagine that!

Think of it as a very large, flavorful free-range chicken, perfect for roasting whole or slow-cooking into a rich curry. What you shouldnotthink of is how adorable they are, how useful they are, and how they’ve saved your butt when you summoned them during fights in FF4 or FF7.

7Behemoth

How D’ya Want It? Rare, Medium, Or Meteor’d?

These hulking brutes are pure muscle, suggesting a lean, robust red meat. Imagine a massive, well-marbled cut, perfect for slow-roasting or even turning into a monster-sized pot roast.

The sheer volume would feed a small army… or one very, very hungry adventurer. You’d have to be careful, though - I’m sure a Behemoth dish would have onehellof an aftertaste. Get it? Because they cast Meteor upon death? It’s a joke about game mechanics.

6Ultros

Mmm, Arroz De Polvo Please!

This eight-armed terror of the deep might seem like an unlikely menu item, but think of him as the ultimate cephalopod. Forget calamari; we’re talking about a giant octopus here, packed with lean, flavorful meat.

Imagine slow-braised Ultros tentacles, incredibly tender and infused with aromatic herbs, or even grilled rings tossed in a spicy seafood salad. The sheer size alone would make for an impressive banquet. Just try not to think about the many conversations you’ve had with him.

5Malboro

Okay, hear me out. While theirbreath is undeniably putrid, a Malboro is essentially a giant plant. We eat all sorts of strange flora! Perhaps the key is in how you prepare it.

Properly detoxified and blanched multiple times, parts of a Malboro would be surprisingly fibrous and earthy, like a giant, super-vegetable. Think Malboro stir-fry, centring the tentacle-like stalks, after a very thorough cleansing process. Voila, you have the perfect trendy street food ripe for TikTok-ification.

4Sahagin

More Like Sushigin

These amphibious humanoids are essentially the ultimate swamp fish. With their scaly skin and finned limbs, they promise a lean, white meat, perhaps a bit stronger in flavor than your typical freshwater catch.

Pan-fried Sahagin fillets, seasoned simply with salt and pepper, or perhaps baked whole with a medley of swamp vegetables, could be surprisingly delicious. Just be sure to scale them thoroughly, and maybe avoid the ones from Final Fantasy 14 - those fish are friends, not food.

3Tonberry

A Meal That Comes With Its Own Cutlery!

Don’t let their adorable, knife-wielding facade fool you. Tonberries, with their squat, almost reptilian appearance, might yield a surprisingly tender, perhaps even slightly fishy, white meat. They do in my head, anyway.

And what could be more useful than a dish that comes with its own tableware? Tonberries look like they might be tough, so using their own super-sharp, super-dangerous knives to prepare them would be a necessity.Note to the editor: is this too dark?

2Ochu

Picture a massive plant-like creature - effectively a giant, carnivorous artichoke. While its attacking vines are certainly menacing, the core of an Ochu could be a truly unique culinary experience. Once the outer, tougher layers are peeled away, the tender heart might be steamed or roasted, offering an earthy, slightly nutty flavor similar to a giant artichoke heart or even a root vegetable.

It would be a challenging prep, but the reward could be a surprisingly wholesome and vegetarian-friendly dish, perhaps with a nice vinaigrette. Alternatively, turn this terror into a side dish for the wondrous meaty dishes on this list!

1Flan

…Duh

This was an obvious one. Flans are… flans. They’realreadydesserts. And when you dive into the deep Final Fantasy canon, you can see that they come inso many varieties. From the sweet Flans and the creamy Puddings to the savoury Flanbaneros and bouncy Bavarois, the sky is the limit.

Final Fantasy 15 has a flan literally called Creme Brulee. You know this is the Final Foodie to end all Final Foodies.