UsMagic: The Gatheringplayers are an immature lot. We see a card like Sinister Starfish or Armada Wurm, and we can’t help but titter. Fortunately, the German-language release of Final Fantasy has put a new arrow in our quiver with a new amusing translation to snort at.
The card is none other than Final Fantasy 10’s protagonist, TIdus. In English, his name is Tidus, Blitzball Star, reflecting his status at the start of the game as a sports star. However, if you go into German, the card becomes a lot more… caked up.
It’s Funny Because It Sounds Like A Bottom
As pointed out byBluesky user Shanasae, Tidus, Blitzball Star’s German name is Tidus, Blitzball-Ass. Combine that with the art that puts his buns on proud display, and the result is a card rather focused on his posterior.
Of course, “ass” is simply German for “Ace”. This isn’t the first time a card has become decidedly bootilicious for German markets. Aetherdrift’s Interface Ace became Schnittstellen-Ass, and Kaladesh’s Gearshift Ace was translated to Schaltknüppel-Ass. However, there have been times where this has been avoided, too, like Bloomburrow’s Finneas, Ace Archer becoming Finneas der Meisterschütze, or Finneas the Master Archer.
Doctor Who’s Ace, Fearless Rebel just remained Ace, seeing as that’s her name. It would’ve been unfortunate if that got translated.
This also isn’t the first time translations have been playfully ribbed by the Magic community. An infamous example from Shadows Over Innistrad was for Descend Upon The Sinful, which in French was translated to “Fondre sur les pêcheurs”, which, thanks to the incorrect diacritic on pêcheurs, means Descend Upon The Fishermen. The correct translation would be “Fondre sur les pécheurs”.
The Card Certainly Is Ace, But In German
Unfortunately, you’re not likely going to see Tidus, Blitzball-Ass see a whole lot of play, no matter what language it’s printed in. The card itself is a solidly okaylimited signpostfor drafting, but its abilities leave a lot to be desired in other formats. Tapping a creature when he attacks is good, and getting bigger with each artifact you play can be nice, but with no evasion and no protection he’s likely to just get removed before you have a chance to do anything.
The other two Tiduses in the set are far better. Tidus, Yuna’s Guardian is the face of the FF10 Commander deck, and lets you move counters around and proliferate. Meanwhile, theThrough the Agesversion is a reprint of Thrasios, Triton Hero, which is one of the most-played commanders in Magic’s competitive cEDH format.
