Escort missions are one of the most universally despised quest types in gaming history. Having to guide and protect a character not capable of defending themselves is typically frustrating. You can accept failing a mission because you’ve been killed, but failing one due to someone else dying is always annoying.
Also, the AI of the person you’re trying to defend is rarely good. They often run into danger or simply get in your way. So, escort missions almost always lower the quality of whatever game you’re playing. The following escort quests are particularly bad.
EVA is a great character in Metal Gear Solid 3 and is very useful to Snake during the story. Yet, there is a moment late in the game when you both fall off her bike, and she gets injured. So, you must guide her to safety. Unfortunately, she moves really slowly, and her stamina depletes rapidly. You have to keep feeding her to get her stamina up, or she won’t be moving anywhere.
To make matters worse, there are enemies around, and some are actively searching for you. This is supposed to be a stealth game, too, but you can’t really sneak around people with EVA slowing you down. There are ways to make things easier, such as knocking EVA out and just dragging her to the end, but it’s still more frustrating than fun.
Silent Hill 4 isn’t often regarded asthe best Silent Hill game ever, and the Eileen missions likely contribute to that. She is an injured woman who is currently possessed, and you have to keep her safe from all the monsters you face. She can’t die, but the more damage she takes, the worse the possession gets.
This is hard to avoid since the woman’s AI isn’t very smart. She regularly gets into trouble, particularly if you give her a weapon to fight with. What makes the whole thing worse is that the more damage she takes, the quicker she walks towards a death machine during the final battle of the game. You get the game’s bad ending if you can’t win the fight before she dies.
In the For Pete’s Sake level in Earthworm Jim, you are tasked with guiding a pink puppy to the end. Some of us would generally have more patience for a puppy than a human, but that patience is tested during this level. This is because the canine just casually strolls through the level without a care in the world while a bunch of enemies attempt to attack you both.
He can’t die, but when he does take damage, he turns into a monster and drags you back to an earlier part of the level, meaning you annoyingly lose progress. As there are a lot of adversaries on this level, this can happen a lot.
Typically, in escort missions, you’re protecting a non-combatant or some kind of weakling. Yet, in Jak 2, Krew has you escort three of his heavily armored and well-equipped men through the sewers. Therefore, you likely don’t assume it’s an escort mission before you start it. After all, it seems more like a regular mission where you have some backup.
However, these people aren’t as tough as they look, and they’re clearly outmatched by the creatures you meet in the sewers. They die easily and don’t provide much firepower. What’s also annoying is that if a single one of them is killed, you have to restart.
When you first see Big Daddies in Bioshock, you may be a little jealous of them because of their impressive armor and overall combat capabilities. Well, deep into the game, you get a taste of being a Big Daddy as you suit up as one and follow a Little Sister around as she collects ADAM from dead bodies. While this is happening, many enemies attack. So, you have to be her bodyguard.
It feels like it takes forever for her to extract ADAM, so the sequence gets tiresome quickly. Plus, the enemies aren’t easy to contend with, making it quite challenging, too.
In Spyro 2, you need to help a Cheetah named Hunter, whose feet have been encased in stone. The only person who can assist with this is the Alchemist due to his special potion. Unfortunately, though, to reach the Cheetah in need, the Alchemist must get past a bunch of giant enemies known as Earthshapers. So, it’s up to you to escort him.
The Alchemist seems to have full faith in your abilities to protect him, as the guy just walks straight up to and past the enemies. It only takes one hit from them to take him out and force you to restart the quest, so the sequence is very frustrating.
You could argue that the worst type of escort missions in games are the vehicle ones. After all, in these, you and the vehicle you’re protecting are out in the open with nowhere to hide. This is the situation in Star Wars: Rogue Squadron’s Escape From Fest mission.
You’re protecting a group of AT-PT vehicles that your allies have commandeered. They’re trying to get to safety, but a bunch of enemy ships and other vehicles are blocking their path, so you need to help. It’s a hectic and very difficult mission, which puts a damper on one ofthe best Star Wars games released in the ’90s.
Dead Rising is a game where you’re trapped in a mall filled with zombies. A bunch of survivors are also in that mall. When you find one, you’re able to guide them back to the safe house to keep them alive. The fact that any of them dying doesn’t count as a game over means it shouldn’t be as annoying as other escort missions. Yet, it remains among the most rage-inducing if you want these people to survive.
Yes, you can give many of them weapons to defend themselves, but they still move so slowly and regularly get grabbed by zombies. Also, there is a timer for the entire game, so precious minutes are ticking away every time you are waiting for a survivor to make it past the horde.
During the Meat Circus level in Psychonauts, you meet a child named Oly. He is determined to retrieve his pet, Mr. Bun. So, he continually chases after the little creature. Every time he grabs the animal, he is transported to a higher level. You aren’t transported with them, so you must jump your way up.
While this is happening, Oly is being attacked by bunny demons, and his health is depleting. Therefore, you need to keep catching up with them before he dies. Some of the platforming parts aren’t easy, either. Sometimes, you’re even attacked by a knife thrower as you attempt to make your way up. So, you have plenty of obstacles to avoid and little time to do it.
Escorting and defending Natalya in GoldenEye 007 is infamous. The woman is known for running straight into enemies and also right in front of your bullets, so it’s very easy to kill her accidentally. Then, a moment comes when she has to hack a computer in a big control center, and it’s up to you to protect her.
This is an excruciating sequence, as she takes such a long time, and there are a lot of guards trying to stop her, coming from all sides. GoldenEye might be one ofthe best shooters of the ’90s, but Natalya almost ruins it.
