NPCs are supposed to help, right? They guide you, sell you gear, give out quests, or at least fill the world with some personality. But every now and then, a game drops in an NPC so bafflingly useless that you wonder why they even exist.
After digging through dozens of games and hundreds of characters, I’ve found several NPCs who truly earn the title of “most useless.” Let’s break down exactly why they’re in a league of their own.
You know the one. He’s lying in the middle of the road in Viridian City, claiming he “had too much to drink” and refusing to let you pass. Later, he magically moves after getting his morning coffee.
This man doesn’t contribute anything to the story and teaches you absolutely nothing. He’s basically just a human traffic cone. Even the guy guarding the S.S. Anne does more for the plot than this dude.
Walk into any village in Skyrim and you’ll find at least three NPCs with nothing to say except things like, “I work for Belethor at the general goods store.” That’s it. That’s their whole personality.
They never change, never offer quests, and absolutely don’t care if you save the world or not. I’ve played Skyrim more times than I can count, and I still can’t tell half of these people apart. They’re just there to fill the town square.
Moira is actually super helpful if you agree to help her write the Wasteland Survival Guide. But if you tell her no, she just stands around the Craterside Supply with a weird grin and zero purpose.
No alternate questline, no new dialogue, nothing. It’s like her entire existence depends on your cooperation. For a post-apocalyptic survivalist, she really doesn’t have a Plan B.Other NPCs from Falloutjust have far more to them, or at least they are charismatic enough for you not to notice their lack of help. But not Moira.
Look, Peppy gave us “Do a barrel roll,” and for that, he’s earned a place in meme history. But if we’re being honest, half the time he’s just yelling obvious advice like, “Use the boost to get through!” while offering no real help.
He constantly needs saving and somehow survives every encounter without lifting a paw. Slippy may be annoying, but Peppy? He’s just along for the ride, yelling from the sidelines.
I will never understand why these NPCs exist. They follow you around, repeat the same desperate lines, and block your path just long enough to blow your cover during a stealth mission. And if you give them money? Nothing happens.
They don’t help you disappear or create distractions. They just vanish into the crowd like nothing happened. If I wanted to waste my patience, I’d grab another feather for Ezio’s sister.
“Hey! Listen!” I did. For hours. And most of it was painfully unnecessary. Navi is supposed to be your guide, but she often just repeats the obvious or interrupts to remind you of things you already know. For the most part, she’s a pretty worthless character.
She never provides real puzzle hints or helps in combat beyond locking on. For a magical helper, she’s about as useful as a flashlight with dying batteries. And yes, I still hear her voice in my head sometimes.
Isabelle gets all the love, but let’s talk about Tom Nook’s twin nephews: Timmy and Tommy. Every time you walk into Nook’s Cranny, one of them just echoes whatever the other says. It’s not helpful. It’s not charming. It just slows everything down.
I kept expecting them to develop unique personalities or offer new features, but nope. They’re a glitchy echo chamber in raccoon form. One cashier would’ve worked just fine.
Carth is technically a party member, but emotionally, he’s just white noise. He spends most of the game whining, refusing to share his backstory, and judging you for every decision. I wanted to like him, I really did.
But he contributes nothing fun in combat, and he’s somehow less charismatic than your average Sith grunt. I’ve replayed KOTOR three times, and every time I left him on the ship as soon as I could.
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I tried to like Preston. Really. But after the tenth time he told me, “Another settlement needs your help,” I gave up. It never ends. You save a town, and he thanks you by giving you another town to save.
He’s less of a character and more of a quest dispenser trapped in an infinite loop. He doesn’t evolve, his dialogue never changes, and he somehow makes heroism feel like a full-time job.
