Most of us had an edgy phase. Admit it, this is a safe space for it. I am not ashamed to say it. I was very edgy as a child, happily shunning those around me to brood and play games that let me escape from this cruel world. It just didn’tgetme, you know? I hope you do, because I really want you to be able to relate to this article.
The early 2000s was like free real-estate for the budding edgelord, and I was coddled in it. Trapped in a rural village, those around me just didn’t understand how I felt. These games did though. They showed me it was not just OK but super cool and epic to be edgy. Video games weren’t just for kids, they weremature. And these games were basically my edge bible growing up.
We’re right on the cusp of the 2000s with this one, and to be honest I didn’t play it a lot, but it really left an impression. I mean, big brooding man in a hoodie (with the hood up, obviously) with the ability to just wreck whatever he wanted, because he wanted, and no one could stop him? It wouldn’t unseat the games that already formed my edgy phase (which totally wasn’t a phase), but it surely added to it.
I can’t even remember what the story of Prototype was. To me, it was a big city to let loose, let all those normies know just how you felt about them in incredibly bloody, gory ways. As Alex Mercer, you were the coolest guy around. I mean his arm was a massive sword, you may’t get better than that.
Growing up, Mortal Kombat was more the norm, and Tekken felt like some far-flung fantasy. I never really got into the series, and truthfully never even played much of the game beyond a few matches at a friend’s house. But Devil Jin just really meant something to me. He was the pinnacle of what I could be. To let the demons that were inside come outside, and have their own playtime.
In hindsight, there’s a bit of the ‘do I want to be him or be with him’ phenomenon going on, but at the time he was what I envisioned my inner turmoil as. Sick black wings, laser beams and imposing horns to scare everyone around me. Hell, I still look up to Devil Jin. Just,ahem, with a bit more awareness why now.
I was very much part ofthe skateboarding generation, even if I was a bit crap at it. Really, I was mostly left to the wayside when my friends do all their tricks. Their ollies and manuals and all of that. I had to get my fix in the Tony Hawk’s games, and none of them stick in my mind like American Wasteland does.
I loved having the freedom to go anywhere, tag whatever I wanted, pick up something other than a skateboard and let rip around the city. It was anti-establishment, and I was pretty anti-everything back then, so I felt right at home. Plus, getting the snap your skateboard in frustration saved me from ever flinging a controller at a wall.
Devil May Cry 1 was one of the earliest games I played in life, though it’s not strictly what I would have called edgy. No, it’s what came later that was really edgy. Devil May Cry 3 came a little later for me, shirtless Dante’s blasé behaviour feeling like a panacea to the way the world treated me. I got to rock out and not give a single care in the world with him.
But my first Devil May Cry edge affair was with Nero in Devil May Cry 4. I remember fawning over him and his glowing, epic arm. The first time I saw the game was sealed away in a case in my local Tesco. He was trapped in there, and needed to be free. He was just like me. I needed my freedom too. So how did I free Nero? I asked my mother for an Xbox 360 for Christmas this year please and thank you. But it was all a ploy, trust me.
The Legend of Zelda has gone through so many iterations, but it’s no surprise which one I landed on as my favourite. Link in Twilight Princess is the pinnacle of what he can be, and the antidote to what came before. I can admit as an adult that yes, Toon Link is very cool and joyful. But I was an edgy child, and Toon Link was too colourful. He waschildish. I needed amatureZelda game.
And that was Twilight Princess. Link was fearless, and had his own dark side to let out as Wolf Link. Wolves are super cool, the alpha of the pack. And Ganondorf was so epic too. Nothing could kill him, not even a sword through the chest. Even if Nintendo will never go back to this Link, I know it’s because it’s scared. It is afraid of the new wave of edgelords they’d unleash with it.
When it came to character-action games, Devil May Cry was still more my speed back then, butthere was no escaping God of War. I mean the game was calledGod of War. Of course, I, a highly impressionable, isolated and closeted child, felt incredibly empowered by the literal god of war that could beat up anything he didn’t like and was excessively angry. Well, he wasn’t excessively angry to me. He wasjustifiablyangry. And that was cool.
Kratos' mantra became mine. Not in the literal kill-everybody-who-slightly-inconvenieces-you kind of way, but in a significantly less violent but still related way. I didn’t care, I was stronger than you. I threw more than a few ‘friends’ onto the ground in the school playground. Because I could.
I promise I am of sound mind and a socially-adjusted memeber of society at the moment of writing.
The first Prince of Persia game I actually played was The Two Thrones. Or more specifically, the PSP version of The Two Thrones, Rival Swords. And Ilovedit. The regular Prince being all high and noble, proper ways of combat, only for the Dark Prince to emerge and literally strangle enemies to death with his chain. It was so cool, so edgy. Kind of literally.
So imagine my surprise when I went back and to play Warrior Within and found out that was the edgy one! I look back on it, and Prince of Persia as a whole, for having a hilariously villainous degree of sexism, but for me, it felt like this was natural. The young and lighthearted child becomes the cool adult who says little and speaks through actions, and gets the girl. Really, it’s quite uncomfortable to look back on, but we can’t control what we love as an edgy child.
Continuing my crusade of ignoring the first entry in a series, Jak 2 was the first Jak game I played, and was maybe the first game I played where I heard swear words being said. It was like a dirty little secret as a child, hearing the main character saying all these adult words that were off-limits to me. It was empowering, playing a game that no one around me really knew was about. Hell yeah.
Oh but it just kept getting better. Jak unleashed his Dark Eco powers and became my dream figure. Sharp quills, murderous claws, eyes black as the abyss. Lightning abilities for some reason. It didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense. It was cool, it was edgy, and it was what guided me through my edgelord years.
It’s a bit of a meme at this point to acknowledge Shadow the Hedgehog, not just the character but the 2005 game, asedgy to an overdone degree. And that is true, absolutely. But it also erases the very real childhood that formed themselves around the mythos of Shadow the Hedgehog. You can’t possibly know what it felt like to grow up with the poppy colours of Sonic, and then realise that something so much darker was possible.
Shadow had a goddamn gun. He got to kill humans. Not because he was told to, but because he wanted to. Of course Shadow could kill the president of the United States. Yeah, he can kill Eggman too. He’s the ultimate Lifeform, he can do whatever he wants. I can’t overstate the effect it had on me. I drew constant sketches of Shadow. Sonic felt boring in comparison. Shadow was the future. All hail Shadow. It brings me back to the DeviantArt days.
