I’ve never dressed up in a mascot costume, but whenever I see someone wearing one, I can’t help but think about the logistics of how comfortable (or rather, uncomfortable) it would be to wear it. They’re heavy, thick, and restrictive, but some have to be better to wear than others.
What would it be like to wear a mascot costume of abeloved video game mascot? That’s where my mind’s at today. Since I’m in no position to actually wear one and represent their respective games in the name of minimum wage (I’m assuming), I’ll just have to imagine what it would be like to dress up as these mascots.
My Comfortability Rating is from one to ten, with one being the most uncomfortable and ten being the most comfortable.
10Spyro The Dragon
Comfortability Rating: 1/10
Spyro is on all fours, so you’re going to need someone else in the mascot costume with you. Bad start already. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up in the front of the costume, but if you pull the short straw and have to go in the back? Every minute in the costume is going to feel like hell.
The only plus here is getting to move Spyro’s wings around, though you’d probably have to fight the other person for that privilege too. The entire experience would just be spent wishing you were doing literally anything else.
9Chocobo
Comfortability Rating: 2/10
Chocobos are not human shaped, on account of them being, well, birds. If you were to dress up in a Chocobo mascot costume, there’s not a lot of room for your arms. If it was a well-structured mascot costume, you might have a way to control the wings with your arms, but it’s definitely not a natural resting position.
Chocobos also tend to have long necks, so you’d probably need to crouch down inside the body of the costume, rather than standing up straight. That’s just begging for an aching back after ten minutes. A Chocobo mascot costume is a big no from me.
8Slime
Comfortability Rating: 3/10
Wearing a Slime mascot costume sounds good in theory. Slimes are just big, teardrop-shaped creatures. But then you start to think a little harder about what it would actually look like. Where do your arms go? How would you even walk around?
Unless you add wheels to the bottom of a Slime mascot costume, the only way to move around would be to shuffle. That’s a lot of effort. Slimes don’t really look like they put much effort into anything, so that’s just going against their code.
7Kirby
Comfortability Rating: 5/10
Kirby is almost exactly like a Slime, but he’s actually got arms and legs, so wearing a Kirby costume has to be more comfortable. He’s stillveryround, so you’d have to be careful not to bump into people and things and send them flying, but at least you’d be okay inside.
I don’t think a Kirby mascot costume would be the height of comfort, though. It’d be very easy to trip over, land flat on Kirby’s face, and not be able to get up again. Rolling around would be fun, but it’d probably hurt.
6Pikachu
Comfortability Rating: 6/10
I’ve seen alotof Pikachu mascot costumes. They always err on the side of fat Pikachu, with stubby arms and legs. It would be fine standing in a Pikachu mascot costume, though your arms might ache a bit from the shortness of the costume’s arms, but the real problem comes when you start walking.
If you watch any video of someone dressed in a Pikachu mascot costume, they don’t just walk. They have a little bounce and practicallywaddlearound. You’d have to make large strides to get anywhere without toppling over, and that’s going to get old fast.
5Crash Bandicoot
Comfortability Rating: 7/10
Though he’s based on a bandicoot, Crash is fairly humanoid, which instantly makes the concept of a mascot costume based on his design much more comfortable. His proportions are similar enough to a human’s that you could stand comfortably without contorting any limbs.
However, if you look more closely at Crash, you’ll notice he’s generally a bit hunched over. That’s going to affect you inside the mascot costume, most likely. There’d be some neck pain at the end of the day at most, but you’re going to be sore nonetheless.
4Sonic The Hedgehog
Comfortability Rating: 8/10
Just like Crash, Sonic is humanoid. Ish. You’d be able to walk around easily in a Sonic mascot costume - no need to bounce, shuffle, or waddle. His arms are very mobile too - you’d probably just need to wear a regular sleeve to get the full effect.
But there’s one thing holding Sonic back, and that’s his humongous head. Sonic is very top-heavy, and with a mascot costume, that’s going to weigh you down. Keeping your head up high throughout your shift as Sonic is going to require some strength, and you’ll be feeling it by the end.
3Master Chief
Comfortability Rating: 8.5/10
Master Chief should earn a perfect 10/10 Comfortability Rating at first glance. The costume would be person-shaped, exactly proportionate to an actual human’s body, and Master Chief doesn’t have a big, cartoonish head to weigh him down. So why doesn’t he have a perfect score?
One word: helmet. Helmets are horrible to wear for long periods of time. That piece of plastic on your face is going to heat up and steam up like no tomorrow. After an hour or so, your face is going to be warm, clammy, and sweaty. Ew.
2Isabelle
Comfortability Rating: 9/10
Who wouldn’t want to wear an Isabelle mascot costume and spread joy to everyone you meet? She’s humanoid enough that the costume would be comfortable to stand and walk around in. Her head’s a little big, but not cartoonishly so.
She’s almost perfect. I just think you’d get a bit toohot wearing an Isabelle costume. Not only is her entire body covered in fur, but she wears clothes too. That’s an extra layer on an already thick costume. As long as it’s not a warm day, you’re fine, but in a crowded event? You’re going to feel the heat.
1Sackboy
Comfortability Rating: 10/10
Sackboy is the ideal mascot costume. His body is human-shaped, so you’re all set there. He’s not furry, just knitted, and he doesn’t wear clothes in his default style, so you’re not going to overheat from layers of fabric.
His head is well proportioned to the rest of his body, too. You could happily walk around as Sackboy without a care in the world. His happy face is just the cherry on top.
