So,Grand Theft Auto 6isdelayed again. Now the game isn’t set to release until June 02, 2025. If you took math in college, you probably know that’s over a year from now. If you didn’t take math in college, you probably also know that’s over a year from now because it’s not too complicated, is it?
Either way, we are not getting that game for a while. If you’re waiting outside GameStop for that release, I’ve got bad news for you: That GameStop closed four years ago and you’re not waiting for anything but time to pass until God takes you.
That all said, it’s wild to now think there will be about thirteen years betweenGrand Theft Auto 5and Grand Theft Auto 6. I know we all know this, but it kind of helps to put it in perspective by looking at everything that’s changed or happened over the last dozen years. Because the world has significantly changed since then. When we got GTA 5, we thought we were at the peak of gaming and internet culture. As we get GTA 6, we’re sliding down that peak and crashing into Layoff City. So let’s take a look back on what the years brought us.
Two and a Half Generations of Consoles
Grand Theft Auto 5 launched on thePlayStation 3andXbox 360. I know you know that, but I want you to think about that for a second. Those now technically count as retro consoles. We’ve had more newBloodRaynegames in the last 13 years than we have GTA games. And that’s because we’ve hadonenew BloodRayne game. Think about how exciting the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 were.
And then think about thePlayStation 4and theXbox One(you can spend less time on the Xbox One). And now think about thePlayStation 5andXbox Series X. And then think about thePlayStation 5 Pro. And then add in theSwitchandSwitch 2becauseNintendowent off the game-generation rails long ago.
The Entire World Shut Down for Covid
The less said, the better, obviously. Notably, we also had an ebola threat in the intervening years that freaked everyone out. But then we got the big one that shut things down. That happened five years ago. Our lives got shuttered and shattered. It was a tragic time that changed the world, and not necessarily for the better.
It’ll be curious to see if GTA 6 addresses what happened in any way, as the series is squarely focused on lampooning the culture of the moment and we’re still feeling the aftershocks. Grand Theft Auto 5 may remain one of the most fun, playable games with one of the most fun, interesting stories, a lot has changed.
Five Brutal Breakups
I was just in the middle of a new relationship in September of 2013. I even remember my ex and I played the first few hours of the game together. What a great time that was. Anyway, we broke up after I moved for a job. And then I dated someone else seriously, but she wasn’t as serious so we broke up too. After that I dated someone for a couple years. Wereallybroke up, which is frustrating because it’s always easier when you have something to blame other than your own flaws.
And then I got into a relationship with a friend and I had a mental health breakdown and wesuperbroke up. Plus, early during the pandemic I fell in love with someone and we had one of those Zoom romances that went nowhere, so maybe not ‘brutal’ so much as ‘sad’. Just the type of sadness that makes you sit and think about how others have their lives figured out and you’ll always be on the cusp of oblivion. Michael De Santa knows what I’m talking about!
Twenty Eight Marvel Movies
Back in 2013, theMarvel Cinematic Universewas just getting off the ground. We all ooh-ed and aah-ed at the connections they’d make and post-credits scenes. Sure, we’d hadThe Avengers, but we thoughtthatwas the peak of the franchise. That was only six movies into the whole deal! The last movie to be released before GTA 5 was Iron Man 3, which is also one of the best MCU movies regardless of what any list ever says. Still, it’s weird to think that in the time between GTA 5 and GTA 6, the amount ofMarvelfilms have quadrupled. The two aren’t connected, but interesting!
Three American Presidents, Four Times
We canleave politics out of it, but Grand Theft Auto is a series about America and the “American Dream.” And America’s culture is often defined and historically marked by the successes and failures of the president. If you include the last three years of the president in office when GTA 5 came out, there have been three American presidents, one of them being elected twice. Have they all been good presidents? Uh… Sure. Whatever keeps the most intense people from sending me more death threats like they did when I made fun ofbeing mad at Assassin’s Creed.
My Parents Getting Older and More Frail
Speaking of death threats, my parents seemed like life had just started when they were in their mid 50s. But now? Now, man. Hospital trip after hospital trip. Long conversations at the dinner table with just one light on overhead, the gravity of the subject strangling us, keeping us all from saying what needs to be said.
When I visit my parents, I wonder if it’ll be the last time I see one. When I call them, I savor their voices. I didn’t used to always be like this. I don’t even have a great relationship with them. But as time robs them of their health and raises a tide of fear and worry, I remember just how different they were when Grand Theft Auto 5 first hit shelves everywhere.
Fortnite Has Changed Gaming Forever
Fortnitecame out four years after GTA 5. Four years! And yet it seems like we’ve had it forever. Fortnite is now so big that even writing a sentence about how big it is feels quaint. What am I going to say to you that you don’t already know? Concerts? You knew that about Fortnite.
Every fictional IP and half of living celebrities have some sort of literal skin in the game. There’s a 50-50 chance when GTA 6 comes out, games media will compare its player count to those of Fortnite - again, a game that will be nine years old by the time GTA 6 comes out.
Video Games Took Over Pop Culture
Along with Fortnite, the last decade and a half has seen a massive rise in video game culture. Not just the community itself, but things like television adaptations, movie adaptations, theme parks, and the transformation of The Game Awards into a big cultural event. Pop music has chiptune beats and references to games. Sports broadcasts use camera techniques first popularized in video games. Famous actors are proud to appear in games rather than doing it under the cover of night like they’re having an affair. Gaming has arrived.
I’ve Gone From Being The Target Demographic To Forgotten Trash
Well, well, well. Looks like the cold hand of time has moved me from being in my late 20s to my early 40s. How about that! When GTA 5 came out, I saw the characters of Michael and Trevor and thought ‘what an interesting story about two older men further along in their lives than me’. But now, when I play GTA 5, I think ‘what an interesting story about two younger men further along in their lives than me’. I shouldn’t think Trevor has had a more fulfilling life than me, but I also don’t want to deny the truth.
The Video Game Industry Died Anyway Despite Taking Over Pop Culture
Yeah, I’m not sure how that happened but it turns out “taking over pop culture” somehow stilldoes not mean they can pay anyone. “Will we have to play the next Grand Theft Auto on a PlayStation 6?” Honey, we’ll be lucky if there even is a PlayStation 6 and it doesn’t cost $3,000.
