From The House In Fata Morgana and Danganronpa to Hatoful Boyfriend, The Nonary Games, and everything in between, visual novels are a blank canvas for creativity, limited only by the imagination of those behind them. Heavily reliant on writing and character development, this genre is capable of telling all kinds of compelling stories, and the common element binding all those games together is the importance of the choices you make along each journey.
So you’re able to imagine my bewildered expression when my very important choices saw me getting to know a stylish French rapper who also happened to be my toilet. Allow me to explain.
Friendship Ended With IKEA, Now Skylar Is My Best Friend
Date Everything! begins with you starting your new job at Valdivian, a megacorporation that swiftly makes you redundant; however, they cannot fire you without cause. So you find yourself with lots of free time on your hands, until a shady character nicknamed ‘tinfoilhat’ sends you a mysterious pair of glasses in the mail, urgently asking you to keep them safe inside your house, as they’re an important piece of experimental technology.
These glasses, called Dateviators, allow you to see the true form of every inanimate object you own, leading to our first dateable character: Skylar Specs. As an embodiment of the Dateviators, she serves as your guide throughout the early stages of this unorthodox visual novel, showing you how character stats and dating random household appliances will work.
Sassy Chap Games did a terrific job with Skylar, as she serves not only as a UI assistant, but a glossary that organically ensures that you remain on top of each gameplay mechanic by organically revisiting them as part of her romance.
Right after becoming friends with one of your doors, lovingly nicknamed Dorian (we see you, Ben Starr), you will then be able to explore the whole house at your own leisure and introduce yourself to all the objects – or Dateables, to give them their proper name – that call it home.
The Main Story Is Not The Main Objective
The overarching plot involves your character finding out that the Dateviators belong to Valdivian, and ‘tinfoilhat’ created and then stole them, putting you in a very dangerous position. However, I stopped caring about that when I learned the microwave, the shower, and even the end credits were single and ready to mingle; I could now date everything in sight.
As you progress through the game, you quickly learn how to pace your approach with each passing day; you can only talk to five Dateables per day, and you can talk to the same character only once per day. In any other game, this would have annoyed me, but once I started meeting new characters, it enabled me to digest their stories at a more natural pace, something I’m thankful for, as it makes the progress of each storyline feel earned and organic.
After several encounters, you will eventually conclude a character arc. You’ll either get a Love, Friends, or Hate ending, and doing so will reward you with stat points, called SPECS, which will unlock further dialogue options for other characters; these are usually optional, but often fun.
Your dialogue choices during dates will vary depending on the personality of the character you’re trying to romance, leading to some counterintuitive options. In some cases, you might want to be antagonistic to the rougher Dateables, like Rebel, or more submissive if you’re flirting with someone like Sophia. Others, like Dorian, will even express their preferences beforehand. The range of personalities and persuasions fleshes out the Dateables, makes you think about your dialogue choices, and ensures every storyline feels fresh and different.
At the end of the day, the smaller details matter most, with little stories and tidbits that provide a nuanced glimpse into the lives of each object/character you encounter. You will often see characters interacting with each other outside of your personal bubble, proving that good and consistent world-building can be contextualized even inside a house if it’s done this well.
As you get to know them more intimately, you can decide whether you want to remain friends or if a serious romance is on the cards, and you must always pay close attention to your partner’s preferences and demeanor. The Dateables are incredibly fleshed-out characters with their preferences and dislikes; they never feel like items to cross out in a checklist, and the game does an excellent job of reminding you of that through compelling dialogue and amusing, yet extremely detailed narrative work.
If you’d told me a few months ago that I’d ever get to play a dating simulator with more than 100 romanceable characters, I would have simply laughed. Not only because that sounds like a grueling endeavor, no matter how much you like dating sims, but how feasible is it for a game to possess 100 or more meaningful character stories?
Quantity, In This Case, Equals Quality
And yet, Date Everything! achieves the impossible. From the antics of the anxious Beverly, the toxic relationship between Harper and Dirk, or the narcissistic nature of Bathsheba and her poor attempts to socialize, every new character had me enthralled by their delicate balance of comedic levity and sheer earnestness. In some cases, I was also amazed by how deeply they questioned certain aspects of the human experience. Which is a weird thing to say about a potted fake plant, a set of trophies, or a vinyl player.
I also have to tip my hat to Sassy Chap Games regarding the voice acting; the talent on offer across its vast cast is simply sprawling, with names like Matt Mercer, Damien Haas, and Laura Bailey bringing some truly memorable characters to life. I knew Date Everything was stacked in terms of vocal talent, but the finished product must be heard to be believed.
This game is pretty muchthe ultimate ensemble of the voice actors of the gaming industry(which in itself is an incredible feat to realize), but even more surprising is how good it is on top of that. No matter how serious or silly the lines are, you can feel the fun each actor had while recording them, and I can only beg the studio to release a BTS video showing the outtakes, because recording this must have been nuts.
While I resonated with some stories more than others, and not all of them share the same length or depth, the fact that I never once felt burned out is a testament to Date Everything’s impressive design and storytelling. There is no repetition or conceptual overlap between them, no story feels like a drag at any point, and every single one of them is unique, which is astonishing, considering there are more than 100 characters to be uncovered.
From the masterful writing depicting earnest and meaningful character stories, to the organic design and dating mechanics, and a legendary voice cast to top it all off, Date Everything succeeds in creating a delightful experience that showcases an immense amount of love for video games and the stories and characters they are capable of giving us.
