Summary
Mario Kart Worldis the first new mainline entry in the beloved series since Mario Kart 8 originally launched on the Wii U in 2014. It includes stunning new tracks and exciting modes like Knockout Tour, as well as a large roster of familiar characters from across the Mushroom Kingdom who are eager to throw banana peels at each other.
Everybody in Mario Kart World is clearly capable of driving themselves across dangerous environments, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they would be someone you would want to drive you across town. Unless you’re extremely late for your appointment at Peach’s Castle, we wouldn’t recommend hopping in a vehicle with these characters as your rideshare drivers.
9Cow
Moooooovin' Along
The Cow was immediately beloved by many when it wasrevealed as a playable character in Mario Kart World. After driving around them on courses like Moo Moo Meadows in previous games, the milk-powered cutie finally got a license so it could compete with Mario, Luigi, and the rest of the crew.
It’s adorable watching a Cow race through hills and valleys, but there are a couple of reasons why you wouldn’t want it to drive you around town. Due to its size, Cow would probably have its seat set as far back as possible, providing little legroom for whoever sits behind it. The vehicle could also smell like manure, but it might be worth enduring just so you can say that a Cow drove you to work.
8Conkdor
Windows Down
Conkdor made their first appearance in Super Mario 3D World and are mostly known for attacking the ground with their big beaks. After only being around for a little while (compared to other enemies like Pokey), this big bird hasalready found a spot on the Mario Kart World rosterdespite its dangerously long neck.
Conkodor can only really drive vehicles without roofs, or would possibly need a sunroof to be open just so it can see, so anyone who picks up a ride from one is guaranteed a breezy journey, just not in a good way. That could be good on a hot day, but not ideal for bad weather or if you don’t want your belongings blowing around everywhere.
7Monty Mole
Better At Night
While Monty Mole has been a playable character in the Mario Party series for quite some time, Mario Kart World is the first time he can drive alongside everyone else instead of popping out of the ground to surprise them. The little guy is full of energy, but you have to wonder how he can drive so well during the daytime with his poor vision.
If Monty Mole picked you and some friends up as you were bar-hopping around the Mushroom Kingdom, there would be nothing to worry about as he takes you from place to place. During the day, though, you will probably notice that he drives slowly and frequently asks you if the thing in front of him is a Toad or a pylon.
6Chargin' Chuck
Hit The Gas
When you place an order with a rideshare service, you usually want to get to your destination as quickly as possible. Safety should always be a priority, though, and not every driver available is going to keep that in mind when you ask them to get you to the airport as quickly as possible.
Chargin' Chuck has been going fast since his introduction in Super Mario World, and he would continue to do so as a rideshare driver in the Mushroom Kingdom. He is the kind of character who would hit the gas before you even have time to put on your seatbelt, and you’d spend the rest of your trip wondering if you should’ve written your will beforehand.
5Nabbit
What’s Yours Is His
There is nothing worse than forgetting something in a rideshare driver’s vehicle. Many of them will do their best to help you get your purse or laptop back, but that’s not always the case, and Nabbit is the kind of creature who would gladly take anything left in his car and claim it as his own.
The one nice thing about having Nabbit as a driver is that he’ll likely get you to your destination quicker than most characters. Rideshare drivers get paid based on how quickly they complete a job, and Nabbit would want to make as much money as possible. Still, if you happen to forget something like your wallet during the trip, you’ll likely never see it again.
4Snowman
A Chilly Ride
Similar to Cow, Snowman was an obstacle in previous games, but it finally gets a chance behind the wheel in Mario Kart World. Its cool demeanor and positive attitude make it a fun addition to the roster, though there are a few things about the Snowman that would raise eyebrows and complaints from many of its passengers.
Firstly, thelack of hands would be genuinely concerning, and you would have a hard time relaxing while you question how it keeps turning the steering wheel without touching it. To make matters worse, Snowman relies on the cold to survive and would likely have its air conditioning on even during the winter.
3Wiggler
Wiggler has been a playable character in the series since Mario Kart 7, and despite all these years of experience, its road rage hasn’t subsided a bit. The cute caterpillar is infamous for its anger management issues, and the way it can quickly flip its personality would be incredibly disarming to unaware passengers.
The ride with Wiggler could start with a nice conversation about the weather or Bowser’s latest attempts to kidnap Princess Peach, but the entire vibe will shift in an awful direction as soon as it is cut off in traffic or if you spill a drink in its vehicle. There is a chance you could have a good ride with Wiggler, but if a single thing goes wrong, you could be stuck with an angry bug for the rest of your journey.
2Shy Guy
Long And Awkward Silences
If a masked creature in a robe showed up as your rideshare driver, would you even step into the vehicle? Shy Guys aren’t known for being extroverts, and their general aura can be discomforting to many, so it’s really hard to imagine them thriving in this job market. Unfortunately, there are so many of them, you would probably have a hard time avoiding having one as a driver.
The worst part about having a Shy Guy as your driver would be the long silence during the trip, and its lack of communication skills would make you wonder if you’re going to arrive at your destination in one piece. Shy Guy won’t answer your questions or play any music on the radio, so you’ll just have to spend your entire trip hoping you don’t end up turning into a Boo.
1Wario
The Worst Of The Worst
If you think about all the bad traits of the other drivers on this list, Wario is the culmination of all of them. From his need for speed to his never-ending greed, Wario is the kind of driver who is only interested in himself and likely doesn’t care for the well-being of his passengers whatsoever.
It’s easy to imagine Wario’s rideshare vehicle reeking of garlic and being so full of garbage that you need to burrow through it just to find your seat. He’ll likely blast music you don’t like, talk to you about topics that make you uncomfortable, and might even ask you to invest in his next business venture. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but you shouldn’t be surprised to see Wario with less than a one-star review on whatever app you’re using.
