Board games are a lovely thing. They are a great way to spend timewith friends and family alike. However, while tabletop gaming is a joy, it can bring out the worst aspects of some people. There are certain types of board game players whom you justdreadto see sit down at the table. Those are the people I’ll be talking about here.
Of course, I’m treating the entries on this list like they are stable characterizations, but we’ve all probably dipped into one of these archetypes here and there. If you read this list, and you feel like you are being called out, just remember that we have all been there, and a big part of growing is recognizing that there is a problem in the first place.
9The Player Who Cheats
The Age-Old Ruiners Of Everything
You can’t talk about the worst kinds of players without discussing cheaters. So, I figured I’d get it out of the way. These players need to win, and they’ll do anything possible in order to do so. Don’t sit them too close tothe Monopoly bank, unless, that is, you want to play against someone who issuspiciouslyflush with cash.
Board games often require you to keep track of a number of elements when played right. When you have one of these players at the table, they’ll become one more thing to track. If only they would learn that no one actually cares if you win at a board game. They do, however, care if you ruin the game for everyone else.
8The Player Who Constantly Consults The Instructions
Wait, Let Me See What The Instructions Say
Look,some games are complex. They can have a lot of moving parts. I understand wanting to look at the rules once in a while, but dear god, please don’t grind the game to a halt every single timeanythinghappens. Sometimes, you need to just let things happen. If people are pretty sure they know how something works, just go with the flow.
You don’t need to double-checkeverything. This is a matter of severity, of course. Once in a while, it is fine to look over the rules, but once you have turned a thirty-minute game into an hour-long game, you have stolen time from people’s lives. We only have so much time on earth, people.
I admit it, I have been this person in the past. I would like to sincerely apologize to my friends and family.
7The Pacifist Player
So Focused On Not Being A Problem That They Make Themselves The Problem
Putting this player on this list almost feels mean-spirited. The pacifist player is almost always averynice person. They just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings! Ingames where you work together, they’llneverbe a problem. However, if you are playing a game where being a little grubby is sort of the point, then this player ends up causing the same issues as the player who refuses to take anything seriously.
They’ll mess up the game for everyone else. If a player is about to win, and you have a card that can stop them, and you choose not to use it, then you may have been nice to that one person, but you were a jerk to everyone else at the table.
6The Player Who Can’t Handle Losing
Let The Angry Muttering Commence
This player isn’t a cheater. They’ll play the game right, and stay within the confines of the rules. However, once things start going south, the bitter, snide comments start to materialize. What was once an enjoyable, lighthearted evening, is now getting… uncomfortable.
This player may otherwise be a lot of fun to hang out with, but there are just certain personalities that can’t stand the idea of losing and bring an intensity to certain board game nights that doesn’t make for the most chummy environment.
5The Player Who Refuses To Pay Attention
No, you need to draw a card first. Not from the discard pile! Don’t show us it!
Look, we’re playing board games to have fun. Usually, people are going to be pretty relaxed when it comes to new players. However, there is not knowing because you haven’t quite caught on, and then there is not knowing because your eyes glaze over whenever anyone tries to explain anything to you, and you start replaying your favorite cartoons in your head.
Listening is an active process. You need to put forward an effort. No one is going to be upset if you are a slow learner, but you’ve got to keep the hamster running on that wheel. Otherwise, everyone else is going to start fraying at the ends as you need to be told how to exchange resources. Again. For the fifteenth time.
4The Player Who Refuses To Take The Game Seriously
What If I Just Discard My Whole Hand? Wouldn’t That BeHilarious?
So, the player who can’t handle losing is a real problem, but on the flip side of that, you have the player who refuses to ever try in the first place. And hey, we are just having fun, so that’s not the worst thing in the world. However, their aggressive sandbagging will often have reverberating effects, altering the course of the game and undermining players who are trying to play the game right.
It often feels like this is a self-defense mechanism of some sort. Like, this way, they are never truly invested, so they never have to feel bad about losing. Whatever their motivations may be, it can make for a frustrating night.
3The Player Who Plays Favorites
The Kingmakers Of The Table
This is more likely to be an issue that will crop upwhen you are playing with couples, but it can happen with close friends as well. Sometimes, you have players who favor each other and struggle to maintain impartiality during a game. This will, more often than not, lead to one of them helping the other, and handing them the victory.
What makes thisparticularlyrough is that this person may not even know they are doing it. So, you’ll feel the frustration building, while no one wants to bring it up, because no one wants to hurt their feelings. This’ll lead to the entire table watching one player boost the other while they quietly die on the inside.
2The Player Who Takes Everything Personally
One Perceived Slight Away From Ruining The Evening
If you like to play games that encourage betrayal or backstabbing, then you’ve undoubtedly encountered this player at some point. Sometimes, someone who is normally totally chill, relaxed, and cool can reveal themselves to be this person when playing the wrong type of game. Certain people just can’t handle betrayal, even when it is supposed to be part of the fun.
You know things will have gone poorly when they are quietly sulking while everyone else is laughing. Suddenly, they aren’t playing to win, they are playing to sabotage the people they perceive to have done them wrong. Destroying their own ability to win, but making sure to drag half of the table down with them.
1The Player Who Complains About Everything
A board game often has a lot of moving parts, and you may not get a feel for everything right away. The best thing to do is just play the game, front to back, and then see how you feel about it after the fact. Not this person. They have a fully-formed opinion about everything, and they are going to make sure they tell you about it.
Or maybe they know the game, hate it, and want to make that very clear to every other person at the table. These people are energy vampires. By the time the night is over, you will want to crawl into a hole and sleep for the next nine summers. If you want your friends to “forget” to invite you to the next board game night, be this person.
They’ll also likely tell you about all the better games that you could be playing instead. Just. The.Worst!
