Do you feel like you’re navigating gaming worlds with the battered road map your parents kept in the car when you were a kid? You know the ones. They were so out of date that half the roads you went down were missing, and someone spilled coffee on the page that has your street on it and wiped out half your neighborhood?
If you’ve ever looked at a mini-map and seen your destination, but somehow been unable to translate this information to the world you see ahead, then you are not alone. Last week I got lost going to a friend’s house. I’ve been there almost every week for months, so I thought I didn’t need sat nav anymore. Turns out I was wrong and this inability to get anywhere without being handheld also extends to games.
First up is Persona 5 and I think this one is the most relatable, especially when it comes to Mementos. I mean that place is a literal maze that’s randomly generated on each visit. Everything looks creepy, it’s full of dead ends and random shadows, and you have to navigate it all in a cat bus. Getting lost here is surely understandable?
However, I don’t just get lost there. Apart from never remembering which area things are in, I have also failed to find my way back to LeBlanc after visiting Futaba. I think that was a personal low point.
Tomb Raider’s 2013 reboot marked not just the glorious return of my favorite gaming heroine, but also a reminder of how a partially open-world title may as well just be a labyrinth with no map for how badly I can get lost in it. The game gives you a linear storyline to follow, but the map itself is more open than that, more open to error, that is.
The biggest problem here is the addition of secret areas hidden away. There are places you need to access but can only get to by sliding through a tiny gap in between two walls. Finding one is a cause for celebration, but if I need to return? Well, let’s just say I hope it’s not urgent.
I love games with cities to explore. However, Yakuza 0 brings with it the same issues I had with Persona 5. I just can’t get my bearings. I know there are cool landmarks, and there’s even a map, but it somehow doesn’t help. I can’t properly translate the minimap that moves to where I’m moving in the game.
As much as I try to remember which way to turn, I can never quite remember which stall, street or landmark is near which location I want to find. I may be ready to go and sing Friday Night, but there’s a good chance it will be at least Saturday morning before I can locate the karaoke bar again.
With The Sims 4, my directionally challenged ways appeared slowly over time. At first, we only had a couple of small worlds, and I was, at least mostly, ok. Then the team started putting in all that extra effort. The worlds became larger, with more neighborhoods and extra places to explore. Heck, there were even streets and alleyways.
The Sims 4: Life & Death’s world includes a beautiful town hall-type building. If you click on it, you can get directions to unique points of interest in Ravenwood. Surely this means I’m not the only lost person? I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt relieved. And then I realized that I could not find the town hall. So close!
Before you ask how I can get lost in Jurassic World Evolution 2, I need you to understand that this is specifically any time I have to drive a ranger car. When I can fly overhead with my god camera, admiring my dinosaur-based kingdom, everything is beautiful. I can see so much being lost isn’t a concern. However, rangers are a different story.
At several points in the campaign, you are forced to explore in a ranger vehicle. You’ll need to round up dinosaurs, fix broken buildings, and locate specific items. The problem is you need to do this with the worst attempt at directional help I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s not my fault the compass is a straight line. They had four points back in my day.
I blame the dead ends for my inability to navigate Stardew Valley’s Pelican Town. The map is vague, and they confuse me by making it so that not every path upwards lets you go all the way upwards. Teleportation and new bridges help later on, but not when I’m still learning.
My middle child is very critical of my ability to go down the wrong path three times in a row and find myself above the mine, unable to get down. Personally, I’d just like an Animal Crossing-style ladder I can carry about with me. It would really help navigate those pointless cliff edges.
Phasmophobia is dark, ok? It’s hard to find anything in the dark, especially when you are terrified. Even with the lights on, it’s easy to get turned around when you are scrambling for a hiding place because your life depends on it.
I maintain that it’s not my fault that I frequently run into random dead ends trying to find a closet to hide in. I’m just providing more entertainment for my teammates when I inevitably die due to my inability to find my way round ahousereally big hospital or campsite. Yes, it’s absolutely just those huge maps that cause navigation issues, not that tiny house you go to first. Nope.
Danganronpa 2 makes itself confusing by deciding to split everything into islands. Early on, things are mostly easy to locate, but as you unlock more islands, trying to remember which island things are on? Far more challenging. Granted, there’s a map, but shamefully, that doesn’t help with my most troubling issue. Locating my own cabin.
The tiny icons are hard to work out, I can’t remember what my own character looks like, since I can’t see me, and all the cabins look the same. It’s not my fault I cannot remember which side to go down. They make me visit people and every time it means I just fail to find my own cabin for a bit longer.
Please tell me I’m not the only one?
